Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Part 3 of 3

Part 3

With having passed the embryo, I felt as though a huge weight was lifted from my mind. I had more energy and felt less sad. I was ready to heal.

That Monday I woke up ready to move on. I cleaned my house, played with my little boy, and went to a doctor’s appointment. At the doctor, they checked me with ultrasound to be sure I had passed everything, and the ultrasound showed that there was still a mass left that looked like a clot. The doctor assured me it wouldn't be a problem and we could safely cancel the D&C.  I left the appointment and stopped at Target to fill a prescription and pick up some groceries.

Around 4pm, while shopping, the worst “period” cramps of my life began. It actually felt a lot like early labor with my son. I was having trouble walking, and I ended up needing a Target employee to escort me and my son to my car. I sat in my car, hoping the pain would subside. The employee came back to my car after I’d been there almost an hour worrying about me. He offered to call 911.

Instead, I called my hospital and spoke to a midwife on call. They were very worried and started to send me an ambulance. I refused and said that I wasn't going to take an ambulance to a hospital for bad period cramps. I promised that if the bleeding reached the maximum amount safely allowed or if the pain did not stop within the hour, I would arrange for a ride to the hospital.

Right around then, the contractions got further apart. They went from every 2 minutes to every 5, and the length was shorter too. It was then I decided it was safe to drive home, since I was only 6 or 7 min away.
Upon arriving home, my husband had just gotten home too. The bleeding intensified, and I had reached the quota allowed (1 pad per hour for 2 hours) the contractions waxed and waned in intensity, so I was still reluctant to go to the ER. What if this was the tail end?

The bleeding seemed to stop, but I had that familiar feeling of needing to push again. Then a clot passed, and the bleeding turned scary. I was a tap, and it would not stop gushing.

Without hesitation we rushed to the ER. In the car, the contractions got worse and worse and eventually became worse than any of the contractions I had when in labor with my son. They came with only seconds in between and they were so horrible all I could do was scream through each one.

Now here is where I don’t remember much. The pain was too intense and I could not speak or look around me. I was admitted to a room and hooked up to monitors and IVs. After an exam, they finally gave me pain medicine. Within seconds of the injection, I felt glorious relief.

I don’t even want to go through the next 4 hours of pain and suffering I felt. It’s boring to read anyway. Eventually, using forceps and vacuum, they were able to deliver a retained piece of placenta that was causing my body to freak out. Once it was out, I was a lot better off.

That night I lost a lot of blood and they were concerned I may need a transfusion. Luckily , I didn't. I was in shock (my body wouldn't stop shaking,) and I was too weak to even stand, but eventually I was cleared to go home. I was wheeled to my car, send home with pain medicine, and slept very deeply all night (what was left of it anyway.) The next morning I could walk again, was in no pain, and felt heaps better emotionally.

My story is not unique, but it isn't common either. Some miscarriages are quick and painless. Some are worse and longer and painful than mine. Some are quickly ended with a D&C, others take weeks and weeks to resolve on their own. Some women react even more intensely emotionally, while others take the loss in stride.

Most miscarriages happen in the first trimester, before anyone has been told about the pregnancy. Ironically, women don’t share the news of the pregnancy in case the pregnancy ends, but really that is when they will need the most support. I’m hoping to raise awareness of the normalcy of miscarriage. Miscarriage isn't your fault, it isn't something to be ashamed of, and you are not alone.


If anyone ever wants my support or wants to talk, don’t be afraid to ask me.